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Joke of the Day

"I haven't been ignoring you; I've been prioritizing you."

"Two necrophiles are discussing their love lives. Necrophile 1: What happened with you and Brenda? Necrophile 2: Ah, you know how it is. . .the rotten cunt split on me."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Cartoon ! Cartoon who ? Cartoon up just fine she purrs like a cat !"

"I'm wearing a push-up bra and can still only do 3 push-ups. Would not recommend."

"[swirls, sniffs and sips red wine] Yes, this is delicious. I will have a glass. Ma'am, this is a church, let go of the cup and sit down."

"The worst racist joke I can think of. A black man and a parrot walk into a bar The Bartender says ""Wow what a beautiful bird where did you get it?"" The parrot reply's ""Africa"""

"""Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl?"" ""No, flush it like everyone else"""

"Shouldn't brothels be called ""hoe-tels""? I apologise for any loss of brain cells caused by this joke..."

"Your mamma so ugly, she walked into a haunted house and came out with a job application!!"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a computer? You only have to punch information into a computer once. "