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Joke of the Day

"[swirls, sniffs and sips red wine] Yes, this is delicious. I will have a glass. Ma'am, this is a church, let go of the cup and sit down."

"What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket? A down comforter."

"A man walks into a library and asks ""do you have that book for men with small penises?"" The librarian looks on her computer and says ""I don't know if it's in yet."" ""Yeah that's the one."""

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? By walking... J. K. Rowling"

"*sees cars lined up outside church* wife: Is that a funeral or a wedding? me: What's the difference?"

"You know what my new year's resolution is? 1680x1050"

"What happened to the Italian chef when he died? He *pasta way*."

"What is the difference between a Ferrari and a boner? I don't have a Ferrari."

"My sister has promised to sing at my funeral. I hope she goes before I do."

"whos your future husband or wife mine reddit alien"