17569

Joke of the Day

"Why did James Gandolfini die of a heart attack? Because he was fat."

"I joined a 12-step program for people addicted to 12 step programs, Anonymous Anonymous. The 1st step is admitting you don't have a problem."

"What word starts with M and ends in arraige and is a man's favourite thing? Miscarriage. This joke never gets old, just like the baby."

"Fortune cookie- You will have a successful TV show. Me- How old is this cookie?!"

"You've heard about the Ferguson situation, right? The issues raised aren't exactly black or white."

"An atheist and a vegan walks into a bar... I know that because they told everybody."

"I bought a spray bottle to break my girlfriend of looking at her phone when I'm speaking. I hide it after use so she doesn't know who did it"

"Why is owning a dog better than being in a relationship? My dog can't tell people when I beat it."

"IF I HAD A NICKLE EVERY TIME A GOP OFFICIAL CALLED TRUMP'S BEHAVIOR ""UNACCEPTABLE"" BUT ACCEPTED HIM AS NOMINEE I COULD START A FAKE COLLEGE"

"What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees? A graduated cylinder. -------------------------------------------------------------------- This is the only joke I've ever thought of."