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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a musical sheep group? An Alcapelca... yeah that was bad.. sorry world.."

"my girlfriend said I have to give up my love of pointing out objects, or she would leave. I responded: ""well there's the door"""

"Dolphin scientists say that dolphins are the smartest animal next to humans, but I think they're only saying that because they're dolphins."

"What's the difference between the Holocaust and a goat? Can't keep milking a goat for 70 years"

"Q: Why did the comedian do time? A: Is it cause his jokes killed? (Nope, one in ten dead)"

"What does a man with no honey do? He cantaloupe."

"Teacher: This is the third time I've had to tell you off this week what have you got to say about that? Pupil: Thank heavens it's Friday!"

"Did you guys hear about the Italian chef who had food poisoning? He pasta way."

"My friends cat just ran across his banjo and was immediately sued by Mumford and Sons."

"If you own a small, anti-Kindle bookstore and it's not called Page Against the Machine, just give up."