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Joke of the Day

"My therapist asked me if I ever black out because I drank to much alcohol. I responded ""Not that I can remember."""

"I woke up to find that someone pooped in my slow cooker. What a crock of shit!"

"ER: Ma'am, are you allergic to any medications? Me: I'm not answering your silly questions until you give me the wifi password."

"I like my coffee like I make my women. Hot, and bitter."

"You can call me Vladimir. Because I'm going to be Putin it in your butt <3"

"I did a theatrical performance on puns... It was really just a play on words."

"I now pronounce you slowly and phonetically."

"I'm a wealth of knowledge Unless you want it to be true Then I'm pretty solid on about 6 topics 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors"

"Men couldn't be trusted with multiple orgasms. I've seen the mess they make with one."

"Do you know what you get when you mix an elephant with a rhino? **Elephino**!"