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Joke of the Day
"If it wasn't for my incredible willpower, I would be exercising right now."
Next Joke
"What does a paedophile do at the beach? Lilo."
"""Hey! Aren't you that guy from the village people?"" Me, to every cop who pulls me over"
"Woman goes to a psychiatrist convinced her house is made of celery. Psychiatrist tells her he's seen this sort of thing before ... it's called stalk home syndrome."
"A guy asks his girlfriend make him feel awesome and sad at the same time Girlfriend: Out of all your friends you have the biggest penis"
"The Alzheimer Society of Ireland is commemorating 30 years this year... ...or is it 40?"
"How do you make 5 lbs of fat look good? Stick a nipple on it."
"Why do Asians have small breasts Because their fathers only allow for A's."
"[Inspecting car] *kicks tire* ""Mmhm just as I suspected, it can withstand a single kick."""
"Wish triscuits would focus less on that basket weave design and more on not tasting like actual basket."