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Joke of the Day

"I'm usually more of a Samantha but sometimes I am such a Carrie, like when a bucket of blood got dumped on my head at prom"

"Whats the difference between a feminist and a bomb vest? A bomb vest does something when triggered."

"Just calculated my BMI and found out I should be 47ft tall."

"What's red and has seven dents in it? Snow whites cherry."

"I ran into Harambe for the first time in a while last night, so we decided to go get a drink. Bartender: what'll you have? Harambe: I'll have a beer. Me: no, he'll have a shot."

"The church on Elm street is hosting a prayer meeting for people with low self esteem. Please use the back entrance."

"If you rearrange the letters of Fat Tuesday it becomes Fatty as Due. I don't know what that means but as you can tell I'm really bored."

"Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy."

"Kick the can If you don't have a can, you can just play ""kick the can't""! Joke courtesy of my dad. Obviously."

"After 10 Dos Equis beers, I think I'm the most interesting man in the world."