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Joke of the Day

"Once a clock was very tired.. What does that clock say at 1 o'clock night? 1 AM feeling very sleepy."

"My date didn't go as planned and now I don't know what to do with this kiddie pool full of nacho cheese."

"What do you get if you cross a hedgehog with a giraffe ? A long necked toothbrush !"

"a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide......... Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?"

"A police man saw a black man beating up an old lady. Why didn't he do anything? Because he wasn't racist!"

"- I'd like to make a reservation. - Name? - Matthew McConaughey. - Can you spell that for me? - No."

"Doc, I've got a problem... ...every morning at 8 sharp i poop... Doc: How is that a problem? Guy: ...I wake up at 9..."

"What does Beyonce eat food out of? An IrreplacaBOWL."

"Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)."

"There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns in the hope that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately no pun in ten did."