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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't Jango wear Boba's helmet? It didn't Fett."

"Me: Just to be safe, we should quarantine Texas and nuke it from space. CW: That seems like an overreaction to Ebola. Me: They have Ebola?"

"I made this joke. I said as I held me son for the first time."

"My girlfriend can manipulate the muscles in her fanny to make a shag feel like a blowjob. Ironically, when she uses the muscles in her mouth, she sounds like a twat."

"The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage... ...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins."

"If two people on opposite sides of the world drop a piece of bread on the ground at the same time the Earth briefly becomes a sandwich"

"I used to hate Vegemite, but I read that you only need to put a thin spread to enjoy it It's been much better. The cat is eating the whole thing now."

"How many feminists you need to change a lamp? ""That's not funny..."""

"[NSFW] You know what's ironic? That Bill Clinton's term was between two Bushes."

"The United States has such bad luck It's almost as if it was build on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds."