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Joke of the Day

"Me: I fell down the stairs with a quart of Jagermeister & I didn't spill a drop. Him: Well, how'd you do that? Me: I kept my mouth shut.."

"oh so you rich guys throw the water out after you boil hotdogs. too good for hotdog soup. too good to dab the soup on your wrists like colog"

"What did the zero say to the eight? Nice belt."

"Why do scuba divers fall backwards off of the boat? Because if they fell forwards, they'd still be on the boat!"

"Received a call from a recruitment consultant. She said to me: ""Sir I have two openings for you...!"" I replied : Yes. I know There was a long silence and then she said..... bastard"

"Will Smith's website isn't responding. What do you do? Refresh Prince of Bel Air."

"What kind of apple isn't an apple? A pineapple."

"Did you hear about the guy that lost his left arm and leg in a car crash? He's all right now."

"A pirate goes to the dentist.... ""Open wide and say aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr"""

"What do anemic people drink? Pale ale"