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Joke of the Day

"My wife can't stand to be around me ever since I retired from voicing Winnie-the-Pooh She says I am becoming unbearable."

"How many roundhouse kicks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Just one. From Chuck Norris."

"Me: How are you feeling Grandpa? Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly."

"Being at the alligator park reminds me of my time in jail So many crocs."

"Just saw a hobo sleeping on a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. Must be his alarm system."

"The movies were right about monkeys ruling the world. They came from Baltimore."

"My boyfriend recently called me his woman And now we're living in the jungle, wearing deer skin and hunting for food"

"In 2012 Kanye made millions from ""Niggas in Paris"" 2016 he lost it to them."

"90% of dogs in Korea are inbred... I'm assuming that means like in a sandwich or something."

"I'm not sure churches are the best places for PokeStops... a priest just asked me in and offered me a Slowpoke edit: whoops, rip inbox. don't get sucked in by priests, kiddies."