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Joke of the Day

"If your Uncle Jack was on his roof, and he wanted you to help him down, would you help your Uncle Jack off?"

"How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb? 100; 1 to do it, and 99 to say ""I could do that."""

"I like my women like I I like my coffee.. Ground up and in the freezer."

"I think I need to take a break. -me, as soon as I get to work."

"What goes after foursome? Awesome..."

"When the zombie apocalypse comes, we'll be the last to go because we never leave our houses."

"[drops a pinch of fish food into fish tank] ME: here ya go little buddies FISH: oh wow pukey shit flakes again, thanks man"

"What did Obama say to Congress when they vetoed Obama Care? My god, you're all insane. Am I the only one Hussein?"

"A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: ""I've lost my dad."" ""What's he like?"" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, ""Beer and women."""

"If I ever open a bakery.... I will call it ""The Bread Pit"""