2220

Joke of the Day

"A small boy got lost at a baseball game... He went up to a police officer and said: ""I've lost my dad."" ""What's he like?"" asked the police officer sympathetically. The boy replied, ""Beer and women."""

"*wife and I start having an argument in a crowded restaurant* *she storms out upset* *I follow* Outside: ""DINE AND DASH SUCCESS!"" *high 5*"

"Who has the biggest ass in the Kardashian family? Kim. She has Kanye."

"I heard about a new drug that is super addictive and leaves one in a state of sustained indifference. Parents, talk to your children about Crystal Meh."

"Did you hear that one of Santa's reindeer now works for Proctor and Gamble? Its true....Comet cleans sinks!"

"Not realizing today's date, I just made a Pearl Harbor joke to someone... Needless to say, it bombed."

"If the employees in your human resources department were all very into Aleutian sea birds. . . Around Christmas time, everyone would be sending HR Puffin Stuff."

"On Viagra Guidlines If I was ever able to keep an erection for more than four hours, I would be calling the girl with a visible thong who handed me a pencil in calc, not my doctor"

"I started a food-themed 80's cover band called Durian Durian... ...but we broke up after everybody told us how much we stank."

"Yo mama so fat in order to meet new carbon emissions regulations, we had to cap her ass"