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Joke of the Day

"What happens when you play a country song backwards? You get your girl back, you get your truck back, you may even get your dog back."

"i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won"

"What do two sushi say after one tells a lame joke? ""Nigiri, please."""

"Prostitutes are like the Elves from Lord of the Rings When you know them well enough they tell you their true name"

"What do you do when you see a spaceman? You park, man!"

"How come my wife can't hold her bladder for more than three hours but she can hold a grudge for fourteen years?"

"Enhanced interrogation idea: If waterboarding isn't working, try having my mother brush their hair."

"You're not allowed to tweet screenshots of chats where you're the one who says the funny thing."

"What is green and sings? Elvis Parsley"

"Why does Mitt Romney never win at Jenga? Because he takes too much from the bottom and middle and gives it to the top."