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Joke of the Day

"How to be depressed Step 1. Go to 1973 and sell 10% shares of apple for $800 Step 2. Realise those 10% is worth $43 billion nowadays."

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"What does black people and Deutsche Mark have in common? Both are outdated currency."
"what's the difference between a girl in a church and a girl in a bathtub? The girl in church has hope in her soul whilst the girl in the bathtub has..."
"""There is a policeman in here and he will ARREST YOU."" And other inspirational things I say to my kids when we're in public."
"What gas do snails prefer? Shell."
"What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? A Lickalotopus"
"Our family summer boat trips haven't been the same since grandad died & demanded we bury him at sea. In the boat."
"How many police officers... How many police officers does it take to push a black man down the stairs? None, he fell!"
"What happened when Turkey was accused of being Chicken? It staged a coup"
"What did the hippie say when he was kicked off the couch? Namaste"
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