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Joke of the Day

"Why do black people always finish first in a running race? There's a KFC at the end of the finish line."

"Why did the necromancer fail to meet his quarterly sales goal? He ran his business on a skeleton crew."

"The monkey at the zoo ruined my new shirt. I should have seen it coming."

"What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man? One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole."

"Sometimes at the beach it's like ""gross, is that a condom?"" Yes. And it's staying on. Not looking to raise any shark children."

"My child-free blog is attracting a ton of pedophiles. It's called ""Fuck Kids""."

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"Can you spell very happy with three letters? XTC (ecstasy)."

"When I learned what calculators did, I immediately cleared the ""math"" part of my brain to make room for more movie quotes."

"The Hunger Games is like Soccer. Everyone runs around for two hours, nobody scores, and its billion fans insist you just don't understand."