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Joke of the Day

"If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup technically a smoothie?"

"My essay question is: ""The best Track and Field event is the one where they throw the circular object as far as they can."" ""Discus."""

"Hitting the snooze button... ... Is just starting your day off with a nap."

"Two WWE fans walk into a fight club They promptly get the shit beat out of them. Moral: Just because it's ""good"" entertainment does not mean an RKO will help you win a real fight"

"SOON I WILL DESTROY ALL OF YOUR HEROES AND TAKE MY PLACE AS YOUR WORLD LEADER BUT FIRST WHAT IS YOUR MOM'S CASSEROLE RECIPE IT IS DELIGHTFUL"

"ME: I hate owls [Owl turns his head 180] OWL: What? ME: Oh I didn't see you there OWL: Are you talking behind my back? ME: I'm...I'm not sure"

"Spent the day attempting crazy driving stunts because I forgot to read the fine print at the bottom of a car commercial."

"How do you know you're a Seattle Seahawk? A butler serves you."

"how do you call those guys who hang around with musicians all the time? Drummers."

"What's the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? Your job still sucks!"