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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a gay man and a Christian man? One fucks an asshole, the other is a fuckin' asshole."

"I have a drinking problem (when I tilt my head back to take a drink I can't see my phone)"

"Me: ""Want a banana?"" 3yo: ""Yes, but don't cut it up. And don't peel it. And don't make it be a banana. Make it be a waffle."""

"Did you hear about the little skunk who got lost in the woods? He called home on his smell phone."

"Apple is advertising the new iPhone as ""The most powerful four inches ever."" I can't believe they stole my slogan."

"Why cant billy ride the swings? he has no arms. knock knock. Whos there? Not billy"

"Why don't birds ever wear underwear? Because their pecker is on their head."

"A man spends his first 9 months trying to get out of the womb and the rest of his life trying to get back in"

"What do you call a girl with a unibrow? Cuban"

"What did the horse say to whinnie the pooh while watching his t.v. show? I wish I could hear you whinnie."