175251

Joke of the Day

"[Nerd Joke] Yo momma's so fat she sees red lights as green... ...Doctors call this colour blindness, physicists call it gravitational blue-shift."

"Sex is a misdemeanor; the more I miss, the meaner I get!"

"Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater."

"What is the difference? What its the difference between a quarter and a guy? Neither gets had when you want tail"

"(real news) In Virginia, a man stole a samurai sword from a store by hiding it in his pants. He later denied having the sword, telling police he *was* just glad to see them."

"How do you make a slow reindeer fast ? Don't feed it !"

"I went to get lyposuction the other day. It really takes a lot out of you. (Thought of this one in the shower :D)"

"Oh OK thanks for the tip, I was actually planning on letting the bed bugs bite but good call"

"Terrorist Pick-Up Line ""Hey girl, is your ass America? Because I want to destroy it."""

"What did the Hawaiian terrorists say when they blew up a restaurant? ALOHA SNACKBAR"