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Joke of the Day

"I won't be getting any sex tonight but I beat level 15 on Bejeweled so its pretty much just as good."

"I saw a sign on the highway that read ""End Road Construction."" And I was like, shit, the anti-road construction people are getting vocal."

"What do you call the gap between a pair of fake boobs? Silicone Valley. edit: spelling"

"Yo Momma so black when she goes swimming poeple thinks shes and oil spill."

"I'd like rap a lot better if they sang, played instruments, had talent, and didn't rap."

"What happens to the taxidermist after he eats? He gets stuffed."

"Why I need feminism A guy once told me that he disagreed with me. This is why I need feminism. He shoudn't be allowed to say that."

"Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA."

"I've just spoke with a woman who said she met me at a vegetarian club last week I could have sworn I've never met herbivore"

"Almost 10,000 tweets, guess who's not Employee of the Month."