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Joke of the Day

"Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?"

"I believe in ""you're stupid"" at first sight."

"Oh... Sorry... Did you mistake me for someone who cares?"

"The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn."

"Reasons to not go camping No.154: People in sleeping bags are the soft tacos of the bear world..."

"Why do pirates like girls with small tits? Because they always search for sunken chests"

"What do the titanic and Madelaine McCann have in common? They're both at the bottom of the ocean and full of seamen"

"An ideal homework excuse Teacher: Where is your homework? Pupil: Some aliens from outer space borrowed it so they could study how the human brain worked"

"How does a spoiled rich girl change a lightbulb? She says, ""Daddy, I want a new apartment."""

"I REALIZED THAT I AM THE VICTIM After ten years of marriage, the wife asks her husband: - Honey, are you by nature a winner or a loser? - Honey, over the years I realized that I am the victim ..."