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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a girl and a washing machine? When I dump a load into the washing machine it doesn't follow me around"

"restaurant Waiter: Your coffee Me: Could I have a little spoon please? Waiter: Certainly *delicately embraces me from behind* Me: lovely"

"(Very) dirty joke time: How does a mother in West Virginia know when her daughter is on her period? Her son's dick tastes like blood."

"Snake walks into a bar... Bartender says ""How'd you do that?"""

"What do you call a midget psychic on the run? A small medium at large."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A Seatbelt!"

"How did I get from Afghanistan to Iraq? Iran."

"[Jesus is resurrected after 3 days] Mary Magdalene: I KNOW YOU SAW MY TEXTS"

"What do gamers make for New Years? A New Years RESOLUTION"

"How to explain to your parents that you are a prostitute Hey mom, remember when I said I was tight for money? Now I'm loose for money."