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Joke of the Day

"Oh... Sorry... Did you mistake me for someone who cares?"

"Q: How does Al Gore spell potato? A: T-A-T-E-R."

"Most hookers don't give a fuck because it's much more profitable to sell a fuck."

"I tried anal once It was fucking shit"

"When birds fly in a 'V' formation, one arm of the V is usually longer than the other. Do you know why that is? There are more birds on that side."

"It's the eye of the tiger. It's the spleen of a sheep."

"Why was the lazy-eyed man a horrible teacher? Because he couldn't control his pupils."

"What did the astrophysicist say to the quark? You matter."

"Oral sex caused Michael Douglas's throat cancer; Surgeon General orders that vaginas be tattooed with cancer warning."

"I heard someone say a guy on TV ""oozes sexiness."" I don't think oozing is very sexy at all. If something oozes, it's probably infected."