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Joke of the Day

"The Sun God Heloios was hungover today. Unable to lift his radiant body out of bed he just stuck his blazing bare bum over the horizon... ... it was the crack of dawn."

"Why was being a soprano a requirement to becoming a pirate? It made it easier to deal with high C's"

"What if Stephen hawking was the real slim shady? but we would never know because he couldn't stand up?"

"Oh I'm sorry.. I didn't know it was ""bring your feelings to work day""."

"I can build and fix small engines using only vomit, feces and rotted animals. Due to my gross motor skills."

"A Jew walks into a bank... ""Honey I'm home!"""

"Did you hear about the production delays at that company that makes scales using lengthy pipes? They had really long weights."

"I wonder if ugly people make a pretty face when they orgasm."

"How do you turn a fruit into a vegetable? You break his spine. (no hate Intended It's just funny)"

"Did you know that Hitler survived World War 2? He's currently a mod at r/news."