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Joke of the Day

"Sell a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man how to fish and you just lost a customer."

"Why do cows wear bells around their necks? Because their horns don't work."

"BABY BOSS: we need to talk about your work ethic ME: *covers face with hands* BABY BOSS: oh guess he's out for lunch. I'll talk to him later"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession with Linkin Park But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"Me: Grandma died, can't work today. Boss: Thought she died last month? Me: This time she is for real dead. We poked her with a stick."

"What do you call a black woman whose had 7 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Did you know sugar is the only word that begins with an 's' that makes a 'sh' sound? I'm sure of it."

"I just got a 69 on a test.. And the teacher put ""see me after class"" on it... I think I like where this is going ;)"

"Today, I made the little things count by teaching math to midgets....."

"Wife: Nothing you could say could convince me that cockroaches aren't the worst. Me: Wall-E's friend was a cockroach. Wife: Except that."