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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend broke up with me because of my obsession with Linkin Park But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"What do chickens say? Cock-a-doodle-doo What does a chicken in the bathroom say? Doodle-doodle-cock What does a gay chicken say? Any-cock'll-do"

"Seeing jelly in the peanut butter jar is gross, that's why it's important to lick the knife before you stick it in there."

"Did you hear about the Bausch & Lomb tech who fell into a giant lens grinder? He really made a spectacle of himself"

"What is that thing called when your crush likes you back? Imagination."

"The people of Pompeii... Mannequin challenge champions since 79AD"

"My cell phone fell in the pool...now I know what it feels like to have someone you love drown."

"I saw a lady at work today doing ""breathing exercises"" and realized for the first time how lucky I was that breathing came naturally to me."

"Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide."

"I wish I could go like Saddam Hussein did. Hanging out with his people"