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Joke of the Day
"I squish my belly fat around during serious conversations because I have intimacy issues."
Next Joke
"How do you tell jokes? Repost :("
"You might not be a Bulls fan, but I know you felt it when this D rose."
"Do you have oxygen and potassium? Because you seem OK. I'm not sorry"
"I wonder if Morgan Freeman will be too busy narrating his own birthday party, to actually be able to enjoy it?"
"I have a rather unique talent. You can give me any girl's name and I know a song for that name. Try me!"
"Do you think Charlie Sheen admitted to being HIV positive on national television... because it was easier than making phone calls?"
"SJWs are the hardest people in the world to offend as long as you don't exist."
"5-year-old: Why don't we say Grace? Me: I don't know. 5-year-old: Me: 5-year-old: Is it because your cooking makes God angry?"
"Marry someone shorter than you so you can hide all the good snacks on the top shelf."