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Joke of the Day

"What's green and hangs from trees? Elephant snot. Funniest part is seeing people's reaction when you tell it."

"Do you know what's really tiring../? ... being awake."

"So I hear Trump wants to ban shredded cheese. Says he's going to make America grate again."

"nothing says FUCK YOU like a restaurant giving you one napkin with your takeout order"

"What does a snowman eat for dinner? Ice-burgers."

"TIFU by reading a TIFU I forgot they're always horrible. Tl;dr: TIFU = bad"

"Why did the cow drink his own milk? He needed the cowlcium."

"Cutting a bell pepper feels like the vegetable version of killing an alien with all its little alien babies."

"What do you call a dictionary on drugs? High Definition Edit:Woah, I got front page! Thanks guys!"

"The lesbians next door got my a rolex I think they were a bit confused when I said I wanna watch"