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Joke of the Day

"Driving Have you ever been driving down the road and you flick a cig out of the window, then a few minutes later you smell something and turn around to see your nan fingering herself in the back seat?"

"""Mum! Dad's got his cock in the biscuit barrel!"" ""Don't worry, he's just fucking crackers."""

"You should argue with your wife only when she's not around."

"The inventor of Chapstick died today. Unfortunately his body was lost while being transferred to the morgue."

"Black ice is just like regular ice except it dies first in movies."

"wow, i thought what we had was special, you met my family and made me dinner, now you say you're a ""waiter"" and you're just ""doing your job"""

"Who was the knight that invented the round table? Sir Cumference. (via friend who got this from a street performance group in the England area of Epcot)"

"What did the Computer Processor say when it was overclocked? It Hertz."

"How can you get hundreds of women wet all at once? Go to a john mayer concert!"

"Dandelions are just like regular lions, except they wear ascots."