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Joke of the Day

"Let stand in microwave for 2 minutes.' Hah. Yeah, like I make microwave dinners because I'm patient."

"According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord."

"I used to date a Mobius stripper... ...I broke up with her when I found out that she would never stop."

"Restraining order Why did Mary get a restraining order against Black Beard the Pirate? He kept trying to plunder her booty."

"Something I told my mom when I was 6... Me: I know what planet has a black hole! Mom: Which one? Me: Uranus"

"Why don't old people have sex? Have you ever tried peeling a grilled cheese apart?"

"[Jewish Joke] What happens when a Jew with an erection walks into a wall? They break their nose. (note - I'm Jewish so this is OK)"

"What makes teaching gender studies so great ? ready pool of girls with daddy issues"

"Get a slab of bread dough. Wrap dental floss around it. Congratulations, you've seen me naked."

"How does Pocahontas celebrate her Cake Day? With a Pao Wow."