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Joke of the Day

"According to the Bible, what company was the first car manufacturer? Honda. Because Jesus and his apostles were in one accord."

"As a kid i looked up to Bill Nye the science guy, but as of today after learning about him i will probably look down on him. And people at my level would agree. I'm 6'3 and he is 6 feet tall."

"Why did Silver have such a successful rap career? He was truly Ag."

"The worst part of being an astronaut would be eventually having to come back to Earth and deal with other people."

"My home security system is a nerf sword by the door. My liquor cabinet has a retina scanner, 3 pit bulls & my 7th grade lesbian gym teacher."

"If I got kidnapped I'd continuously sing Pitbull songs until they kill me, I'd die but at least they'd suffer too."

"What does a bowling ball and your mom have in common? You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them in the gutter, and they'll always come back."

"""What time do I get off?"" has an entirely different meaning when you work in the sex industry."

"Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: ""Katherine Heigl movies."""

"I feel like dinner parties are secretly competitions about who watches the most news and documentaries"