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Joke of the Day

"Something I told my mom when I was 6... Me: I know what planet has a black hole! Mom: Which one? Me: Uranus"

"What is the difference between an anal thermometer and an oral thermometer? The taste!"

"Why did the thumbs-up become the universal symbol for approval? ""hey let me show u my weirdest finger because i'm down with what ur saying"""

"""The first guy to suggest peeing on a jellyfish sting was called a pervert but it worked"" I said to my wife as she complained of a toothache"

"What did the footballer's girlfriend think when she saw him standing between some goal posts? ""He's a keeper"""

"What do you call a basement full of redditors? A wine cellar."

"Are you today's date? Because you're only 1/10."

"What is a firewalker's favorite snack? Tostitos."

"Chuck Norris invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink."

"Did you know how they found out that Dale Earnheart had dandruff? They found his head and shoulders on the dash."