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Joke of the Day

"What did Superman get at the supermarket? A Super Bowl"

"The difference between BLM and the KKK? Honestly, it's black and white."

"Just told everybody in the bar to shut the hell up so my date could hear the full effect of my velcro wallet opening."

"Isn't it so weird when you're thinking about someone and then they suddenly appear? Anyway, my dad just caught me masturbating."

"I hate those people who knock on your door and tell you how you need to be ""saved"" or you'll ""burn""... Stupid Firemen. [x-post /r/Christianity]"

"I was playing Katawashoujo http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Katawa_Shoujo There is an option to 'Disable sex Scenes' So... do I gain more sex scenes? They're already disabled."

"Someone recently discovered the mathematical formula underpinning every Beatles song ever! She got the Strawberry Fields Medal."

"Two Scottish cows in a field, what one is on holiday? The one with the wee calf."

"Did you hear the one about the dyslexic philosopher with insomnia? He was up all night wondering if there really is a dog. I know it's a dad joke, because it was my dad's favorite joke."

"What do you call the reptile that started the fight? The insti-gator."