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Joke of the Day

"A Girl on Twitter, finally gave birth,Now she's been tweeting her baby pics every 20min & Makes me feel I am raising her child with my Data"

"I've been watching the Crime Investigation channel all day. Murder just seems like the easiest way to solve your problems."

"I've got a good joke for you guys But you've probably all Reddit before... xD"

"Why did Mike Tyson bring his calculator to church? He was invited to thunday math."

"What idiot called it.... What idiot called it ""insomnia"" and not ""resisting a rest"""

"Where do suicide bombers go when they die.....? ......EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!"

"How does a football player make phone calls? On a touch-down phone."

"If someone calls me a sir one more time I will literally wear a top hat and a monocle and roll my eyes so hard you will not survive."

"What is a homophobe's favorite fruit? Cant-elope."

"INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something."