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Joke of the Day
"How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, lawyers only screw us."
Next Joke
"Even my cats are sick of the snow..They meow to go out..I open the door..and they freeze and look at me like ""WHY is this shit still here?"""
"If Bruce Wayne was Jewish, would he have had a bar mitzvah or a bat mitzvah?"
"They say the more you drink the higher your tolerance is, but that's bullshit because my friend's an alcoholic & he still hates gays."
"I'm on a seafood diet I sea food and I eat it."
"Me and my girlfriend were on a cruise, listening to Bob Marley. She said he was Upboat."
"I often fill my water guns with urine and fire them at tightrope walkers. Pisses them right off"
"I can eat a rope and have it come out tied at the other end. . . I shit you knot"
"One you haven't heard- What do you call twins with no arms and no legs, hanging by a window? Curt 'n Rod"
"""Smells fresh. Like a tropical island."" ""Ok. Now take off the blindfold! Your family's been dead in this car for a week! We Febrezed it!"""