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Joke of the Day

"They say the more you drink the higher your tolerance is, but that's bullshit because my friend's an alcoholic & he still hates gays."

"What does Hitler say when he's impressed? That's Totalatarily Awesome"

"I see your eight-year-old joke and raise you my nine-year-old joke. Why didn't the bullet have a job? It got fired."

"When's a door not a door? When it's slightly ajar."

"A man finds a job at an elephant circumcision office. His salary is so low that he wants to quit, but then he sees that the tips are huge!"

"What does a prostitute wear on her feet? Whore shoes."

"You know you're getting old when you can't tell the difference between a heart attack and an orgasm."

"I'm terrified of the day robots become self-aware and start wearing fedoras."

"Did you hear that a survivalist got roasted yesterday about his unemployment? Yeah, a Bear Grilled Bear Gryll's Bare Bills"

"Two men were having a drink together. One said ""I'd rather live with a vampire than with my wife."" ""Why's that?"" asked the other. ""Because she's always trying to bite my head off"" he replied."