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Joke of the Day

"A customer was buying condoms at work today. I asked if he'd like a bag. ""No, she's not that ugly."""

"Willie Nelson's braids sold at auction for $37,000. The winning bidder can't wait to smoke them."

"If nothing else, the iOS7 update has proved it's usefulness by automatically adding the little accent mark to the word jalapeno for me."

"Why do lesbians shop at sport authority? Because they don't like Dick's"

"My wife hates when I make jokes about her weight... ...She needs to lighten up."

"Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

"Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?"

"When you're accused of buying someone a gift last-minute at Walgreens, don't reveal you actually went to Walgreens a month ago."

"I saw a guy at an ATM with no arms, and a peg leg He asked if I would help him check his balance... so I pushed him over"

"Ok I just started watching House M.D.:nn1 Does everyone gang up and beat House's other leg?n2 does a rival Token come in to challenge Omar?"