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Joke of the Day

"The policeman asked me why I keep beating my wife... I told him I have a longer reach and superior footwork."

"Scientist: a rat will choose cocaine over water until it dies. I've repeated this experiment thousands of times, because I hate rats so much"

"What dance do hippies hate? A square dance."

"Why did the little boy use his inhaler? ""No wheezin'"""

"Interview Boss: What could you bring to this company? Me: Well I guess I could bring my stereo, but I get to choose what we listen to."

"Ladies, if he leaves the stickers on his hat, that's his way of telling you he won't pay child support."

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see (Nazi)."

"How do you know you are at a picnic with gay men? All the hot dogs taste like shit"

"Beer is mankind's best invention ever, but the wheel is the most revolutionary."

"As I was driving home I saw a black man carrying a TV down the street... Nervously, I had to wonder if it was mine, but then I remembered mine was at home shining my shoes"