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Joke of the Day

"What begins with a "" C"" ends with a ""T"" has a ""U and a ""N"" in it, is hairy on the outside and wet in the middle. A coconut."

"ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that"

"me: *kicks a stone* mountain: my baby"

"Have you heard the one about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"How much...? How much dick could a dik-dik lick if a dik-dik could lick dick?"

"My then 7 yo son came up with this one. Warning: NSFL (I think. This is /r/Jokes, so...) Knock knock *Who's there?* Ala *Ala who?* Ala oo akbar!!! Bkhkhkhhhhhhhh!!! (explosion sound) :P"

"The genie sang that whole song about how he's gonna be Aladdin's best friend ever right in front of the monkey"

"An Englishman walks into a bar... There's usually a Scotsman, Irishman and Welshman too, but they're still at the Rugby World Cup."

"Women expose 90% of their body when wearing a bikini Men are nice enough to only look at the covered parts"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank his coffee before it was cool. Credit to my 15 yo son who made this one up. I'm fairly certain he browses Reddit but he wouldn't admit it to me."