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Joke of the Day

"Women expose 90% of their body when wearing a bikini Men are nice enough to only look at the covered parts"

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram. I was, like, 0mg!"

"What is the difference between a golfer and a sky-diver? The golfer goes *WHACK!* ""Shit!"" The Sky-diver goes ""Shit!"" *WHACK!*"

"Christmas is becoming like that creepy friend that shows up to the party too early. The party starts at 7:00, why are you here at 4:30!?!!"

"What does the neckbeard say when asked what he did last weekend? ""M'laundry."""

"A woman on the subway this morning said ""did you know the government is closed? Is it a holiday or something?"" So really, we deserve this."

"Why are gay men so good at holding their breath? There isnt a lot of air in a closet"

"I can honestly say that the ""Just Say No!"" approach kept me completely drug free throughout my youth. Whenever I saw a group of kids doing drugs and I asked if I could try some, they just said ""No!"""

"How much does a moil get paid for circumcision? Ninety-nine dollars plus tips."

"My co worker just asked if I could help file some documents. I said I was working on a huge project while she watched me play solitaire."