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Joke of the Day

"""Oh no. This sucks. I'm gonna put it in a movie."" - hundreds of directors while watching 9/11, apparently"

"Putting Your exam results on the window of your car So you can park in disabled spots."

"What do get when a ghost picks his nose? Boooooogers!"

"Don McClean's wife just surpassed American Pie as his greatest hit."

"""hello pretty lady."" [i slide down the bar] ""what's your name?"" i say as i casually toss a peanut in my eye."

"What's the resemblence between politics and sex? It can be in whatever position they choose, but regardless there's still just gonna be a dick going in there, and you're still getting fucked."

"I Went To Purchase Some Camoflauge Clothes The Other Day But I just couldn't see myself in them."

"I went to a whorehouse the other day... The sign outside said ""We're closed so beat it"""

"""Brokeback Mountain"" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard."

"Q: What do termites eat for breakfast? A: Oakmeal."