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Joke of the Day

"An atheist, a Muslim, and a Born-again Christian are seated together on a plane. They have a pleasant flight because they're not assholes."

"When my laptop asks ""Are you sure?"", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made."

"I came home to my girlfriend packing her bags. What are you doing? -I'm leaving you. I heard you're a pedophile! That's a pretty big word for a seven year old."

"Wanna hear a joke about overdosing on cocaine? I can't remember all of it, but the last line's a killer."

"Whats the difference between a murder and Hamlet performed by geese? Nothing, they're both fowl play"

"If you can recite the alphabet backwards to a police officer they will arrest you for fingering a minor."

"Donald trumps next book should be called ... The gift of the grab."

"I was dropped on my head as a baby but not as hard as the pound just dropped."

"Bill Clinton was surprised to find his old sandwich maker is ahead 12 points in the polls."

"The past, present, and future walk into a bar. It was tense."