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Joke of the Day

"When my laptop asks ""Are you sure?"", it's because it still remembers all of the other bad decisions I have made."

"Yo moma is so fat I can see everything behind her"

"I've accepted that my brother is never paying back that money I loaned him... I've lost interest, and I'm just giving up on the principal."

"How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb? Three, one to climb the ladder, one to shake it, and one to sue the ladder company."

"If the head of CIA can't even hide his own affair it's pretty safe to say there were no aliens at Roswell and we really went to the moon."

"They say seeing is believing, I never saw 9/11 happen. Therefore, 9/11 NEVER HAPPENED. Yes bad logic but hey, it's a quick laugh."

"If a guy is the one that plows the girl than doesn't that make him the hoe?"

"Unlike Jesus, I did not have a virgin birth It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a virgin death"

"I like long walks along the beach until the drugs wear off & I realize I'm actually crawling through the sand at the local construction site"

"Why stop with two L's Lloyd? why?"