174544

Joke of the Day

"How many karma whores does it take to change a lightbulb? When this gets 700 up votes I'll let you know"

"Broke my good sunglasses... But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were."

"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up"

"I was on a date with a girl and she said ""did you notice my finger nails?"" And I was like ""yes"" and she was like ""well I have no arms"""

"My friend, upon hearing that Chris Pratt will be in the new Jurassic World film... Are you looking forward to Jurassic Parks and Recreation?"

"What do Winnie the Pooh and Attila the Hun have in common? The same middle name."

"My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car."

"What's O. J. Simpson's Internet address? Slash slash backslash slash slash escape."

"Why doesn't Superman watch Game of thrones? Because he has a LED-TV."

"I tried changing my facebook name into Stephen Hawking but it said the username is invalid."