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Joke of the Day

"Most people don't think I'm as old as I am until they hear me stand up"

"So the other day this guy almost died because of [removed]"

"The two secrets of life 1. Don't tell everyone everything you know."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Abba ! Abba who ? Abba'out turn ! Quick march!"

"What do mathematicians do when they are constipated? They get a pencil and work it out."

"ME: please show me the posts in the order that they were made COMPUTER: thats too hard. heres some tweets i think are good. Do you like this"

"The U.S mint stopped making pennies. I don't know why, it doesn't make any cents."

"I want to die in my sleep, like my grandpa did. and not screaming like the passengers in the backseat."

"You know what they say about amnesia... No, really. Do you know?"

"Conjunctivitis.com Now that's a site for sore eye's!"