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Joke of the Day

"[hitting a beach ball back and forth with son] *accidentally hits it over his head and into an outdoor concert* ""don't bother son, its gone"""

"Where does Charlie Sheen shop? At Winners."

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"Not really a joke, but I thought of a way to diss three people at once. When you see someone's baby the first time, say ""so your mom did tell you how to make ugly babies"""

"I wonder if all weather forecasts I see on the internet are on a cloud storage?..."

"A man named Phil realized he was gay one night.... It was very Phil-filling"

"When can you call an Arab unlucky? When all his wife's have synchronized periods."

"Don't use up the last of the milk! Leave just enough in there to piss somebody off."

"There is no snooze button on a dog that wants to go out for a piss."

"What's the difference between Will Ferrell and a man with erectile dysfunction? One can... ""Get Hard"""