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Joke of the Day

"Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll add to the global overdepletion of the oceans. So just give him the fish."

"Does everyone have that ONE follower who will Fav the hell outta every RT...but wouldn't even piss on your own tweets if they were on fire?"

"GF: What a perfect night ME: It gets better *bends on 1 knee* Will you... GF: OMG yes! ME: *puts Space Jam DVD on her finger* put this in?"

"You haven't experienced awkwardness and felt like a complete idiot until you try to tickle someone who isn't ticklish."

"What do you call a man without shins? Tony. (A joke created by a non-redditing friend)"

"The Bartender says, we don't serve time-travelers here! A time traveler walks into a bar."

"What's something you can drive, but also throw? A Fit!!!!!!!!!!"

"What does GOP mean? ""GOP"" is onomatopoeic: it's the sound of anonymous penetration in public bathrooms late at night. -&y"

"the neighborhood teens have left so many burning bags of garbage on my lawn that everyone thinks that this is the place you burn garbage now"

"What does Ebola and US police have in common? A high body count of black people"