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Joke of the Day
"Finals come around and now you like the library? Name 3 of their songs"
Next Joke
"The nicotine patch is great. I get my addiction out of the hands of the evil tobacco industry and into the loving arms of big pharma."
"Chuck Norris already counted up to the infinite... Two times."
"Husband: How about a quickie? Wife: As opposed to what?"
"What's a reporter's favorite food? Ice cream because they always want a scoop!"
"That voice inside my head has a different accent every time I read a new tweet"
"I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies... It's a ""below knee sandwich"""
"How come no one in a zombie movie has ever seen a zombie movie"
"To convince my boss that I'm keeping busy, I periodically yell ""YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME?"" into my phone, then slam down the receiver."
"(SPOILERS) What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere? A Hyundai."