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Joke of the Day

"I keep a sandwich in a holster strapped to my ankle for emergencies... It's a ""below knee sandwich"""

"I'm the guy that starts walking away as you're giving me directions."

"This 'Planking' craze has really taken off... The old man who lives next door to me has been lying face-down in his back yard for three days now."

"My x-girlfriend had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh It was amazing! If you put your ear to it you could smell the ocean!!!"

"The other day I saw two squirrels making noises at each other as if they were arguing. You could say they were squarreling."

"Artistic people of Reddit, what is being artistic really like? And can I get fries with that?"

"Sneezing while driving is my version of extreme sports."

"I just filled up my gas tank and went to a movie and bought a large soda and popcorn, I spent roughly 7000 dollars."

"The Queen shouted at some pigeons and they died. Talk about killing two birds with one's tone."

"A bank's radio commercial just said, ""Every dollar you donate can feed a hungry family."" Your ATM fees can feed four, you murderous pricks!"