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Joke of the Day

"(SPOILERS) What kind of car did J.J. Abrams send to pick up Harrison Ford for the new Star Wars premiere? A Hyundai."

"What did the tie say to the hat? You go on ahead, I'll just hang around here."

"Why not call baby pigs ""hamlets"" ?"

"I like my men like I like my external hard drives... Solid state, and to dump all my history on. history"

"What body movements alert you that a politician is lying? His lips are moving."

"When pigs fly they will have the most delicious wings."

"What's a New Zealander's favorite car? The Kia Ora."

"Clean - What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car man :) - Classic!"

"Person: ""That's a beautiful baby."" Me: ""Thanks, I named him after his grandpa."" Person: ""Awe, what's his name?"" Me: ""Grandpa."""

"Being successful is like being pregnant.. ..Everybody congratulates you, but nobody knows how many times you've been fucked."